Wednesday, October 19, 2016

Dump the Victim Mentality

Success finds its way to positive people. Plain and simple that’s just the way it works. In order to attract positive energy you have to radiate positive energy. And you simply cannot begin to radiate positive energy if you have a “victim mentality”. 

What’s a “victim mentality” you ask. If you blame the world around you for problems that you are facing, that’s victim mentality. If you give power to “them” or “they” in your thoughts you are suffering from victim mentality. Where you are right now is the sum of all the decisions and responses to your life’s events that you have made up to this point. Let’s be painfully honest here – shitty things happen. You can choose to let them effect you in a negative way (be the victim) or you can choose to think, plan and respond to them in a productive way which moves you forward.

You will never attract success if you will not take responsibility for where you are right here and now. One of the miracles in each our lives is that each and every day dawns with possibility; we have the ability to change how we are going to interact with the world around us. Now I know some of you reading this are saying, wait a second, there are things outside of my control; things that I cannot change and that I have to live with. That I won’t deny, but I am also not going to let you off the hook that easy. You see you can choose to react to life events/situations or you can choose to respond. 
Reacting is quick, emotional and generally ineffective. Reacting at best leaves you in the same place and at worst actually pushes you farther from your goals. Responding on the other hand requires you to think about what actions you could take and what the ramifications of each action would be. Responding is the slower method but the more intellectual and mature way to deal with whatever situations arise.

Reactionary people live in the world of the victim. They are quick to blame anyone but themselves. They react emotionally (and generally negatively). They take little to no real responsibility for where they are in life. They are generally quick to get angry, quick to complain and quick to point out all the “things” working against them. 

Responsive people on the other hand live in a world of possibility. They think about what has happened but even more importantly they think about what their best course of action would be. They are forward thinkers; not focused just on the here and now but on the next day, week, and month ahead. They plan things out and then work their plan. Things may not always work out as intended but they will make adjustments that they see are needed as they continually move forward.

There is an old saying that luck happens when opportunity meets preparation. People who have a victim mentality are never prepared and opportunities pass them right by. They are not even looking for them since they are too focused on assigning blame for the negative things they encounter in life.

And just so you don’t read this thinking that I couldn’t possibly understand your situation or that I haven’t had to deal with things outside my control  let me share just few things from my life. I have been fired from 2 jobs and my position was eliminated at a third (that’s right, I have been unemployed three times). I had to watch my wife fade away over an almost two year period while she battled and lost her battle with cancer. As I said earlier – shitty things happen. But I have never been a victim. I have always had the choice on how to respond to every event in my life.  Were there tough times? Of course. But that didn’t mean I was going to simply roll over and let life’s events control me. 

Life’s events do not need to control you either. Take a long hard look at yourself in the mirror. Admit to yourself that you are responsible for where you are at right now. Stop blaming other people, things or events for your lot in life. Make a commitment to yourself to start moving forward. Your life will not change immediately but it will change. Erase the word victim from your vocabulary and remember that you always have choices on how you will respond to any situation or event. Think things through and move forward. Keep doing that and positivity will start to move through your veins. Once you experience that feeling you’ll never want to be a victim again, and you will begin to attract more and more success into your life.

Think I’m nuts? I’ll respond with this: What do you have to lose? And think about what you’ll have to gain.     

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